The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."Ī bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. I checked in every room, but when i got to the attic, i had a heart attackthat instantly killed me.' the second blonde moaned 'shame, if you had only looked in the freezer, we would both still be alive.'Post your awesome joke here.Ī girl came skipping home from school one day. i could see a glimpse of a bra underneath our bed that definitely wasn't mine, so i immediately accused him of cheating, and i ran around the house to find the hoe.
DEAD BLONDE JOKES TV
i ran up to out bedroom and found my husband watching tv in bed. when i walked into the house, it was quiet. That give his girlfriend plenty of time to hide. my car is really old, so my husband probly could hear me pull into the driveway. What happened before you had your heart attack? 'the first blonde answered ' i knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day i went home early. i froze to death, it was NOT the way i wanted to die, its too late now.' 'the first blonde asked, 'what is it like to freeze to death?' 'It is cold, but soon its kinda peaceful, once you know you're dying. The first blonde said 'i had a heart attact, my family has a long line of heart disease, i guess it was my time.' The second blonde said ' oh. Two blondes were talking in heaven, they were discussing how they died. The blonde put the $50 in her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "So, what was the answer?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. Finally, angry & frustrated, he gave up & paid the blonde $50. He took several hours, even looking up everything he could on his laptop & even placing air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the an answer. Then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs & comes down with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the earth & the nearest star?" Without saying a word,the blonde handed him $5. The lawyer figured he could not lose & the blonde reluctantly accepted. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10-1 odds, & said everytime the blonde could not answer his questions she owed him $5, but everytime he could not answer hers he'd give her $50. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on a airplane.
0 kommentar(er)
